6/13/17

Gronk You Answer - Such the offers of product!

Gronk open mail bag now and also answer mail in mail bag! Say "aaah", mail bag!

"Steven" say....

Gronk thank "Steven" for letter. What you try say about Gronk? Why you think Gronk need 8,000 wigs? How bald you think Gronk is? You think Gronk is 8,000 bald? Look at picture of Gronk! If one thing Gronk have, is hair! You bark up incorrect tree, "STEVEN"!

Also, does Qingdao Shunfa (Gronk correct capitalization for you at no charge) have crazy-too-many virgins around there? Is hair from Virgin extra nice for wig? Or, maybe virgin hair is part of crazy "traditional medicine" superstition, like rhino horn? Does Qingdao Shunfa think if wear hair of virgin on head, will make you more sexyness? If virgin wig hair does have magic power, Gronk think maybe it just make you live in parent basement and watch Transformers movie over and over. Boom! Take that, Transformers movie fan!

Gronk thank "Steven" for showing pictures of virgin scalps, but Gronk usually like to scalp his own virgins. If scalper not do his own scalping, he not appreciate scalping art, you know? Just like rich jerk who play World of Warcraft and just buy level 60 character already powered up. "Steven" should ask "Steven" cousin about that. Gronk pretty sure "Steven" cousin is probably gold farmer.



Sophie Jia say...




Wow, Vermiculite. Gronk not hear about travels of Vermiculites since Sunday school. Vermiculites wander through Mesopotamia, or something. Gronk can remember favorite Bible story about them now...

And lo, The Vermiculites traveled to the Place of Fishes, and they were there. Then, while they lodged in the Houses of Gerald, they beheld a Great Host on The Plains. Then, The Vermiculites went and saw that the Great Host were, in truth, The Masonites. The Vermiculites did have a great Battle with The Masonites, who were their foes from ancient time. It was on the Plains of the Fishes that The Vermiculites found they were a match for The Masonites, for their Strength was in them, for they carried in their ranks the Tablets of Terrence, who put his Wisdom into them. For Twelve Times Twelve afternoons did The Vermiculites battle The Masonites, until they became bored, and said that it was dumb. Upon the Twelfth Times Twelfth late afternoon, did The Vermiculites celebrate with a dance of Many Gyrating Elbows. And lo, The Vermiculites could be had in a wide range of diameters, from 0.3mm through 8mm, inclusive. On the Thirteenth morning, they exfoliated with Great Gladness.

Gronk wonder how much of Gronk brain is wasted by storage crazy old Bible stories like ones about Vermiculites. Maybe if Gronk could delete those, he could have brain room for learn to play guitar. Gronk feel need for sweet guitar solo shredding. Maybe some day. Thanks a LOT, Sunday school!




1 comments:

MrsBug said...

I have known the word vermiculite, but didn't know what the heck the stuff did besides act as an additive in potting soil. Stuff is doggone useful! From the Book of First Wikipedias.

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