10/20/09

Radio Facial - You look prettier when you take it off.


One of the priveleges we enjoy as Dwellers in the Future is the easy dismissal of errant scientific claims made in the past. Some technological discoveries are made purely by chance, which leads me to wonder how long it would have taken us to arrive at the same conclusion by pure experimentation and logic. Vulcanized rubber springs to mind. So much for me trying to be fair and objective. This is friggin retarded.
Based on the scientific principal of "if people don't understand stuff, you can sell anything to them", the Short-Wave Helmet was alleged to have "beneficial effects" on the skin. Maybe the inventor had more specific information that didn't fit in the allotted space of rthe article? I dunno. I think that in Popular Mechanics, readers expect some explanation of how things work. When being shown something as clearly insnae as this helmet, most people would need to be convinced that they want to go through the serious weirdness of wearing the thing.

Apparently, the mask uses ultra short wave radio frequencies to make your skin better. Even the model in the photo looks skeptical. She looks like she's going to punch Nurse Funkenstein "You are NOT putting that thing on me." "Ooooh yes you are." the nurse replies. "You've been very naughty in the eyes of the Lord, doncha know. In this photo, we can almost see your knees, you little Jezebel!"

That was 1940. If the  thing actually worked, people would be using it. If it's a goofy footnote in Popular Mechanics from 69 years ago, it must be crap. "Ho ho ho." We all laugh while stroking our wise beards. We in The Future are far to smart to be bamboozled by shenanigans like that." Nah. Examples: Herbal supplements, accupuncture, homeopathy, kinoki foot pads, HD sunglasses, magnetic healing, copper bracelets. Ignorance and gullibility have no season.

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