10/23/13

Sportsmanlinke Driving, Pt 6 - The controls of your auto-car.

In this chapter of Sportsmanlike Driving, we'll learn about how your twiddles and wiggles of the levers and actuators inside the control cabin of your auto-car make it go. Auto-cars are mysterious machines that are incomprehensible by the human mind, so you should rely on these illustrations to force your human brain to understand that your actions inside the car have an effect out in the real world.

HEAD LIGHTS: Your auto-car has "head lights" that illuminate the road, for safer driving at night. They are positioned on the front, or "head", of the auto-car. But what's that metal plunger on the floor? It brightens your headlights, which allows even greater visibility, but is only safe when there are no cars approaching from the opposite direction, or just cars driven by the blind.

As you can clearly see in the illustration, the high beams are brighter, which is indicated here by a darker color. The car on top has it's high-beams activated, while the car on the bottom is using its low beams, which are actually dimmer in reality. Just remember this catchy rhyme to help you keep it straight:

"High beams are darker in the picture, but every good boy knows darker means brighter in real life hath November, and mixture."

ACCELERATOR PEDAL: Your auto-car would be useless unless it went, except perhaps to provide shelter from the retribution of The Lord when The Rapture comes. The "accelerator pedal" makes the car go. But how do you know which way to press it? Should you press it up and away from the floor, or towards the floor in a way that makes sense with how your foot is constructed? Once again, here is a helpful illustration to keep things clear.

As you can see, pressing the accelerator pedal tilts a butterfly valve that allows gas and air to flow down a hallway to combustion chambers that run underneath the floor of your car. Combustion occurs here, driving the wheels somehow. Nobody knows what the heavy lump up in the engine compartment is for. To travel in your car, press the accelerator pedal. When you arrive at your destination, release the accelerator pedal.

OIL PRESSURE: The parts in your cars engine (wherever that is) need oil to work properly. The oil pressure gauge lets you know that there is pressure  on the oil, ensuring engine functionality. Here's how it works.

Inside the engine, there is a pump, which keeps the oil pressure needle in the middle. The lever connecting the two has a mustache, which represents safety. The engine has a hat.


0 comments:

Post a Comment